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Dance Your Ass Off August 4, 2009

Posted by januaryolympus in Uncategorized.
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I know, I know. I should hate Dance Your Ass Off because it’s a weight loss show, and it’s about making people think they can change their lives by losing weight.

But I just can’t make myself hate it. In fact, every time I watch, I feel inspired. Not inspired to lose weight (although I do watch it while working out every Monday! 🙂 ) but inspired to go out there and live a little.

I am very critical of my own appearance. It’s something I’m working on…but at this stage I can’t look in the mirror and make myself like what I see. Sometimes I do like what I see, a lot, but most of the time I look in the mirror and feel fat, and although objectively I know that fat=/=ugly, and I don’t really think that fat equals ugly on other people… on me, I hate it, and it’s something I’ve always hated ever since I started getting chubby around 3rd grade, so breaking that habit is really, really hard. [Side note: It’s also hard because I suspect that I have a distorted image of myself- when I see photos of girls who are size 16 or 18, I immediately relate myself to them and think that I look similar, but I am a size 10 (12 occasionally). Since said girls are almost always my height or shorter, it is highly probable that I do not have the same body shape as them. This is all related to my self esteem issues, methinks, and I’m not sure how to overcome it…]

Anyway, to get to the point: Looking as I do – and probably even if I magically became a size 6 – I would never have the courage to go on national television and dance publicly in small outfits. Most of the other girls and women I know who are hefty lasses have similar qualms about public dancing with nothing but bits of cloth attached to their wobbles. So I have GREAT ADMIRATION for all the people who go out on Dance Your Ass Off and seriously dance their asses off (not in the weight loss sense, although they do that too) and look fine and fabulous. I cannot and could not move like they do, skinnier or not, and I don’t think I could rock those outfits because I’d feel too self conscious to wear the outfits with pride…and that alone is halfway towards looking good in it, right? But when I watch DYAO, and I see these fat people dancing amazingly in amazing costumes, I feel like, if they can get out there and dance and look awesome and do it not JUST because they want to lose weight but also because it’s something they love, maybe I can wear cute clothing items and get out there and do something exciting too. Maybe I can look beautiful too. I won’t extend it so far as to say “Maybe I’ll be able to dance like that” (when pigs fly! lol) but.. Maybe I don’t have to feel ashamed to dance in public, either.

Anyway, I am looking forward to watching tonight…although I haven’t seen The Fellow all day and he’s meant to get back in a bit and might feel sad if I immediately run off to watch DYAO and work out… Maybe I should go work out now and watch America’s Got Talent instead, that’s on just before. Haha..CHOICES! HELP! 😛